Imperfect Strangers

Lynn Lorenz



Expectant mothers are magnets for advice givers. The fact is, when your stomach grows to two or three times the size a typical expectant belly does, your magnetic force seems to be two to three times as great.

Everyone will have comments, stories, tips, warnings and words of wisdom for you. There will be the people who see your belly and can "sense" you are having a girl because your nose is wide, or you're having a boy because you're carrying high. But no one EVER senses multiples! I had "litter" written all over me and no one ever "sensed" I was having two boys and a girl.

Some won't always have the time to stop and chat, but they will always feel compelled to say something.

I will never forget the day I was walking around town when a jogger (who was a fraction of my size) yelled out, "Any day now!" as he raced by. When I replied with "Only four more months!," I had to laugh when I saw the confused look on his sweaty face!

Another time in the cafeteria at work, a woman just back from maternity leave with twins was waiting in line when a colleague asked, "I heard you had twins. Were they natural or did you do fraternity drugs?" Without skipping a beat, she quickly replied, "Yes, but I didn't inhale." I almost lost my pudding!

Then there was the time I was at the checkout counter in a baby store. As I was handed my receipt, my husband came up behind me wheeling our triplets in their stroller. The cashier then said to me, "No WONDER you have such dark circles under your eyes!" Nice.

There are many good-hearted strangers out there whose comments are meant to be genuine and kind but there are also ignorant ones. Such as the person sitting next to my family at the circus asking me if our triplets were "nocturnal." Good grief.

So here are MY words of wisdom to expectant parents of multiples. Prepare to be the center of attention but also prepare to have some fun with it. It's never too early to start thinking of some witty comeback lines. Trust me ... you're going to need them. 

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